I just want it to all be okay again..
My therapist has told me that I’m grieving. I’m grieving the loss of my old life, I’m grieving for the things that I can’t do anymore, I’m grieving for things that haven’t even happened yet. Sometimes, I go through so many different emotions in a day – I can’t keep everything straight and my mind gets all jumbled up, I sleep the days away or I get cranky and take out all of my fear on those closest to me; sometimes, it hits me way too hard. I need to learn how to cope, I have to learn how to deal – that’s just the way it has to be. I don’t know how long it’s going to take or how many times I will go through the grief cycle or learn coping skills before it all finally settles down and I can get back to a somewhat normal life, but it needs to happen soon, because I’m starting to lose everything that matters to me. I can’t fight this battle alone, so I need to learn how to not push everyone away; I need people in my corner.